Tag: Tuesdays at Nine

My ASMR Journey — Yes, I know it’s a corny title.

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
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Most people don’t know I like ASMR. I should probably keep it that way…

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) started popping up on my radar during the pandemic. I was curious so I did a YouTube search and landed on a video of a woman eating a pickle directly into a microphone. The slobbery audio instantly repulsed me. I was so utterly grossed out that I slammed my laptop shut. In that moment, I assumed all ASMR was nasty and probably pornographic.

A couple years later, I entered my perimenopause era. Sleepless nights, hot flashes and frequent headaches became my new normal. Sorry for bragging!

Nowadays (Nowanights?), when I can’t sleep (and my husband needs to rest), I pop my earbuds in and scroll Instagram reels until I can no longer keep my eyes open.

Most of the reels entertain me just enough to take my mind off my symptoms. Though not an ideal way to fall asleep, I consider the distraction a perimenopausal win. But a couple months ago, something better than a distraction happened. I experienced a brand new sensation: cooling peace.

An ASMR reel by Erica Tokach, also known as @reiki.fairy, played on my phone. Tokach casts from a reiki studio, speaks in a very soft voice and incorporates reiki into her work. Her reel instantly relaxed me. I felt something I rarely feel: pleasantly surprised. I had no idea that the internet could be healing! I would later learn the aforementioned “cooling peace” I felt has a name: “tingle.”

“Tingle,” I’d like you to know, is a word that embarrasses me. At least it used to. Now I associate the word with healing and have spent the past month researching various triggers and learning about their purposes.

I also later learned that the sounds that cause the “tingles” are called “triggers.” I had always thought of that word in a negative context; e.g. “a gun trigger” or a “trigger warning” or “getting triggered.” Now I associate it with peace.

***

After I landed on that initial reel, I started to sift through Instagram in search of more ASMR videos. Many are downright repulsive — the sleazy, pickle-eaters are still out there! But some of the ASMR artists are legitimately calming and I’d like to share three safe, vetted options with you:

@reiki.fairy invites her followers to heal, feel calm and be proud of themselves. She brings a touch of wisdom and unprecedented kindness to her reels.

@safespaceasmr whispers in a calmly lit room and incorporates a touch of humor into her reels. Her, “I heard you have a headache” reel has helped alleviate my headaches.

@mattgangi films his reels outdoors but speaks in an inviting “indoor” voice. He incorporates a groovy, organic vibe into his reels.

I can safely say that these ASMR artists have improved the quality of my sleeping, which is to say quality of my life. If you’re interested, find them on Instagram.

***

For those of you who don’t me, I am a playwright and theatre artist. I am in a constant state of writing, reading and creating things. For the past several months, I have been writing a new play called The Power Room and one of its characters is a talented, young shaman. My goal is to create a play that has a true healing touch on the audience. I want the audience to feel physically and mentally better through this character and this play.

Part of my research involves reading about the craft (mysticism), visiting witch-owned shops and events, spending a lot of time in nature, and testing my craft (theatre) in a variety of different spaces. One such space is Tuesdays@9 Chicago, which is where I work.

Last Tuesday, I performed as A Host of Golden Daffodils. When I perform as “The Daffodils,” I lead with comedy and segue into poetry and spoken word. This time I ditched the comedy and performed an experimental poetic ASMR set. I wanted to see if the combination of light poetry, witchcraft and organic triggers would have a healing effect on a live audience.

Would the audience feel peace? Or would they be repulsed? Would they see value in it? Or would they think it’s stupid? Would they feel healed? Or would they be uncomfortable?

Based on the feedback I received, my piece of experimental theatre worked. I made new discoveries about ASMR’s “place” in theatre and have new ideas about how to focus the intentions and poetry. I’m so grateful!

Now I’d like to test the ASMR a little bit more. If you have seven minutes, could you put your headphones on and watch this video from my ASMR event? To give feedback, simply leave a comment in the feedback form below or email me at connievkuntz@gmail.com.

Intended to be watched in a quiet space with earbuds. It’s experimental and weird.

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How did the ASMR video make you feel?(required)

Thanks for reading and, if you had the time, watching! -Constance

Four full moons – a haiku series

Daily writing prompt
What are you doing this evening?
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Tonight is the season opener of Naked Angels Tuesdays@9 Chicago and I’m excited! We’ve been off since May and have had four full moons since our last show. For every full moon, I wrote a haiku.

I always give Tuesdays@9 my “all” so by the end of every season, even though I am proud and grateful, I’m also thoroughly exhausted. Here’s the haiku I wrote on the May 23 full moon:

don't howl at the moon
when she's full -- she needs quiet
give her space

But after a couple weeks of recuperating, I was ready to be vulnerable and creative again. Here’s the haiku I wrote the night of the June 21 full moon. 

the moon shows herself
fully once a month
i must do the same

In July, I focused on understanding the wild yet reliable nature of creativity. I wrote this haiku on the night of the July 21 full moon.

creativity 
is the moon and the moon is
creativity

That haiku is more of a mantra than a poem but at least it reminds me that my creativity — like the moon — is always there, waxing and waning, and part of something much bigger.

***

In August, I took at solo writing trip to Boston. Even though I have TSA Precheck, I was frisked at O’Hare security because the username on my phone’s flight app said “Connie” and my full name is “Constance.” As she patted me down, the agent told me, “The names have to match.”

Later, I arrived at my hotel in Boston.

“Hello. May I help you?”

“Hi! I’m here to check in. My name is Connie Kuntz.”

With absurd and short-lived glee, I slid my drivers license across the counter. I was ecstatic to be in Boston.

The concierge proceeded to look up my reservation.

With a troubled look on her face, she repeatedly looked at me, my ID and her computer screen. After a minute or two, she picked up her phone and called for backup. A woman came out from the back. As she walked to the counter, she made direct eye contact with me. I’m not sure why, but she scared the shit out of me.

Actually, I do know why. Several years ago I read Heads in Beds, a tell-all memoir about the hotel industry that convinced me that everyone in the hotel industry is a coke-head who hates their “guests.”

Anyway, when she arrived at the counter, she looked at her colleague’s computer screen, then at me, then at my ID, and finally muttered, “‘Connie’ is a nickname for ‘Constance.'”

The concierge looked at me and earnestly asked, “So what should I call you?”

I panicked and said, “Uhhhh….Constance?”

It didn’t feel right. First of all, I have successfully avoided saying “uh” for years. I was pissed at myself for breaking my “no ‘uh’ streak.” On top of that, I wanted to apologize to them and ask for forgiveness. I’ve felt silly about my name my whole life and suddenly found myself wondering why.

There’s nothing wrong with Constance but it does take up a little more space. Why is it so hard for me to make space for my own name?

On the night of the August 19 full moon, I decided it was time to fully embrace Constance so I wrote this haiku.

as the river flows
into the ocean, Connie
flows into Constance

So there you have it. Four haiku poems for the four full moons since Tuesdays@9 broke for the summer. And now you know what my plans are for tonight!

***

For the record, Constance is a work in progress. I still feel a surge of embarrassment and shame whenever someone calls me Constance but at the same time I also realize I am simply trying to flow into myself, into my truth. It’s not that radical a concept and I should have done this years ago. Right?

Thanks for reading. -Constance