I called the bureau and a bureaucrat answered – Day 1 at Pictured Rocks

My daughter Jocelyn is temporarily home from college so we squeezed in a hiking trip at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. It’s located in the upper peninsula of “The Great Lakes State.”

Day One

Halfway into our seven-hour drive from northern Illinois (Rockford) to the central upper peninsula (Munising, Michigan), I realized I forgot to print my park pass. That’s the one-page “proof of purchase” you buy online, print at home and place on your dashboard whenever you park in a Painted Rocks parking lot. If you don’t display your ticket in the national park, you could get fined or, I dunno, towed or fed to the mosquitoes. 

Knowing we wanted to legally hike, I texted our motel to see if I could print the pass in their office but she said they didn’t have a printer. She suggested the local visitor’s bureau located a block from the motel.

I called the bureau and a bureaucrat answered. I told her I was looking for a business center to print my park pass.

“You kinda can’t print anywhere in town except here,” she said, “so it’ll cost $5.00.”

“I don’t mind paying,” I told her, “but it’s only one page.”

“Yeah,” she said. “You kinda can’t print anywhere else in town.” She said something about throwing in a map, which we didn’t need or want.

I generally don’t believe in time-travel, but when the bureaucrat told me I was going to have to pay up, I was instantly transported to Cornell College in the year 1991. I could suddenly my college roommate’s 20-year-old voice angry-whispering the following three words into my ear:

bamboozling bureaucratic bullshit!

I don’t know if she still does, but back in the day, Patty had a knack for alliteration. If she felt someone was trying to rip her off — like a tuition hike or an ATM fee — she’d mutter the triple-b with a disgusted look on her otherwise innocent face. Now, 33 years later and with more than 2000 miles separating us, I heard her glorious poetry ringing in my ears. 

***

I know five dollars isn’t a lot of money but charging that much for a lousy piece of paper is a crappy way to welcome a visitor. I wondered how many other junk fees awaited us in Munising, Michigan.

***

As I drove, Jocelyn looked up the local library’s website on her phone and learned it would cost 15 cents to print one piece of paper. When we got there, we had the pass printed and tried to pay, but the librarian shooed away the five-dollar bill like it was a pesky fly. 

“It would be silly to charge for a single piece of paper,” she said, proving once again that libraries are the cornerstone of humanity and librarians are the best people on the planet. 

***

After we procured our park pass, we checked into our motel. It had two beds, a small bathroom and a Keurig for morning coffee. It offered air conditioning but, even better, the windows opened! It was the perfect place to clean up and rest after long, muddy hikes. After we unpacked, we hit the trails.

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It was lightly raining and getting late but Munising is on the western “side” of the Eastern Time Zone so we had until 9:22 p.m. to safely hike! In Rockford, we would have only had until 8:18 p.m. This scientific shit blows my mind and if you told me the government has something to do with it, well, I’d probably die. 

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Anyway, first we hiked an easy half-mile through the Sand Point Marsh Trail, then up and into the North Country Scenic Trail and back. Because it was lightly raining, everything seemed to appear in grayscale (see unfiltered photo above) but once the rain let up, the colors came out in full.

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A rainbow appeared and soon after we saw a Sandhill Crane family (the parents and their two colts) cruising through the woods. Zoom in to see the colts! 

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Not long after we saw the crane family, we encountered this lovely little waterfall.

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The “tiny” waterfall on the North Country Scenic Trail whetted our
appetite for a “destination” waterfall so we ventured to Munising Falls next and hiked a short distance to this dramatic 50-foot waterfall. Even though this picture (below) was taken at 8:53 p.m., there was still plenty of daylight. Amazing. 

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Day One — Beary the Lede

We saw a black bear! Honestly, this part of Day One deserves to be at the tippy-top of this blog post, but sometimes ya just gotta bury — or in this case beary — the lede.

After we hiked a couple miles from Sand Point Beach, we drove to Munising Falls. That’s when we saw a bear on the forest side (the left side) of the road. I saw its massive black side and some branches moving up and down. Jocelyn saw its face! We instinctively and collectively held our breath as I stopped and backed up our Bronco (our vehicle, not an actual horse) so we could continue to admire it. This lasted several seconds before it realized it was being watched, turned away and “disappeared” into the woods. We exhaled (dramatically, because we’re dramatic people) and continued driving.

The movement of the bear and the surrounding bushes instantly reminded me of the bell hooks (she did not capitalize her name) poem
Appalachian Elegy.

We recite this beautiful poem at every Winter Solstice Poetry Caroling Festival so when I saw the bear “stamping down plants and pushing back brush” I instantly “saw” the poem at the same time I saw the bear. I love when poetry lights the way.

And I love that the bear let us see him, if only for a few seconds. Our hearts were pounding and full.

Thanks for reading about Day One. Have you been to Pictured Rocks? -Connie

Poetry Lovers, 
Here's the excerpt I remembered from the bell hooks "Appalachian Elegy" poem:

night moves
through the thick dark
a heavy silence outside
near the front window
a black bear
stamps down plants
pushing back brush
fleeing manmade
confinement
roaming unfettered
confident
any place can become home
strutting down
a steep hill
as though freedom
is all
in the now
no past
no present

P.S. It’s worth mentioning that Jocelyn works at her college’s music library and occasionally prints a page or two — for free — for students and professors. And I occasionally print multiple pages for fellow writers, also for free. Haven’t we all been in a printer crisis? If you are able, just print the damn pages!

Ripped off…

The ripped out pages of Crush by Carrie Mac.

We’ve had a little library in our front yard for more than ten years and I still love it. There are new books in there every week and I take great pride in neatening it nearly every day. Sometimes someone will leave art supplies or a nice note in there. I am pleasantly surprised several times a month.

But this evening, I was unpleasantly surprised. I was walking Barbara and wasn’t wearing my glasses.When we walked by our little library, I glanced in and thought I saw several flyers messily strewn about on the lower shelf.

Occasionally someone will stuff a flyer in there for a local restaurant or a lawn care service or tax service. When this happens, I remove the offending advertisement and toss it into recycling. Our library is for free books or art supplies and the occasional approved free event. As much as I believe in supporting small businesses and shopping locally, our library is not a place for advertising someone’s for-profit business.

Back to those “flyers.” I made a mistake. They weren’t flyers. Once I opened the door to the library, I realized someone had actually ripped up the book Crush by Carrie Mac.

Crush had been in our little library for about a week. I’m not sure who put it in there, but I was happy to see the title! It’s short, 112 pages long, and it’s about a 17-year-old girl that is attracted to another teenage girl.

Here’s a picture of the back cover.

The torn off back cover of Crush.

My guess is some asshole* saw the book, got offended and ripped it up in a fit of homophobic rage.

Going forward, I am going to keep our little library well stocked with LGBTQIA literature. Please let me know your favorite LGBTQIA titles and I will do my best to add them to my library as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading. -Connie

*Rockford is home to numerous assholes. I’m sorry you had to find out here.

P.S. To subscribe to my blog, simply enter your email and hit “Subscribe.”

A fairly recent picture of our house with matching little library. Can you tell what day this picture was taken? Hint: BUNNY.

What’s in a signature?

Yesterday I went to the library. I picked out two books for myself: The Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead and The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green.

I noticed on the latter’s cover it had a little round “sticker” on it that said “Signed Edition” and, sure enough, when I cracked it open, Green’s autograph was right there. And it was in green!

I’d never run across a signed book in any library! At bookstores, sure, but never a library. I thought it must be a mistake. I accidentally returned my own book to the library once. Maybe someone else had done the same? But then I noticed he left an “explainer” on the purple page opposite his signature.

“I signed with some kind of Sharpie while sitting on the edge of the couch in my basement,” Green wrote. “This sheet of paper was then bound into your copy…”

Oh! So that’s how they do it.

He said he hopes his readers experience the same joy he feels whenever he comes across a signed book.

That’s nice.

I always thought authors signed their fully intact books. I had no idea they could just sign a large stack of pages, similar to how famous actors autograph their headshots. Green’s way is much more efficient than what I had imagined and I must say it’s smart marketing. When I saw “Signed Edition” on the book, at the library, I immediately grabbed the book.

I like Green’s writing but I’m not sure it was joy I felt when I saw his signature. In fact, his autograph and explainer triggered that nagging feeling I get when I’ve been manipulated. Of course, there are worse forms of manipulation than being nerdily coerced into checking out a library book. And I am hopeful that I will love his essays so much that I don’t mind. We shall see.

I do want to say that I know the “moment” Green is wishing for his readers and I’ve had one that I doubt will ever be topped.

Last year, my son Angelo (then 11 years old) had a doctor appointment. On his way out, the nurse said something like, “Help yourself to a book.” She motioned to a cart filled with used books. He chose a copy of Blubber by Judy Blume. He showed me his treasure when he got home and I was delighted to see he chose a Blume. Then I was shocked to see that Blume herself had signed it! I was in disbelief, but I looked up her signature and it is a perfect match.

My son and I read the book together and the tattered copy is prominently placed in our living room. I look at it nearly every day the same way I look at the Omar Odeh and Alice Klock art we have on our walls — with wonder, introspection and a touch of sadness.

I adored Judy Blume’s writing when I was young and all of my kids have read several of her books. My 15-year-old son Sam just walked by, peeked at what I was writing and said, “Judy Blume? Oh she has some good writing and good characters,” and walked away.

We have a Little Library in our front yard and most of our books go in there when we’re done with them. But not the Blume. I feel selfish about this. I know I should put it back out into the world so someone else can feel the same euphoria that all of us felt when we saw Blume’s autograph. But I can’t let go. What if I have grandchildren someday? One of them might want me to read it aloud to them.

I’m keeping it.

Thanks for reading. -Connie

You have that look!

There are two more books not pictured. Sam and Fern moved them to the dining room.

My kids started their spring break today. Sam, Fern, Angelo and I celebrated by going to the library to stock up on books. Jocelyn celebrated by waking up with a sore throat. She’s still working her way through Stephen King’s The Green Mile so in terms of reading material, she’s set. But I hate that she’s not feeling well.

Anyway, Angelo went upstairs to the children’s section and Fern headed to the teen center. Sam and I went to the stacks to search for a specific book. While we were there, a gentleman came up to me and asked me a question about the library’s 3-D printer.

“I’m not sure,” I told him. “I’ve never used it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought you worked here. You have that look.”

I’m not sure what “look” he meant. I was (and am) wearing mom jeans, a turtleneck and Chucks. And as someone who has been to the library hundreds of times, I will tell you the librarians at Hart Interim always look professional. There’s a clerk who has worked there as long as we’ve lived here; he always looks dapper in his sweater, tie, pressed pants and tidy shoes.

After the man went away, I focused my attention back to book-finding. Sam and I continued scouring the stacks for The Road to Serfdom. When he told me it was published in the 1970’s, maybe earlier, I had a lightbulb moment.

“It’s too old to be in the stacks,” I told him. “I just assumed you were looking for a newer book.”

I said we had to ask the librarian to call down for it because they keep “old” books downstairs.

“I would,” she said, “but I’m the only librarian here so I can’t go down to the basement.”

“No worries,” I said. “I’ll just order a hold online.”

We have plenty of books to tide us over and I don’t mind ordering Sam’s book online for him. What concerns me is that she was the only librarian on duty. Doesn’t that seem unsafe?

Rockford, population 150,000, isn’t an enormous metropolis, but any building open to the public should have more than one person working in it. I will say there was a security officer there, too, but that still isn’t enough.

And that poor man who wanted to get into the lab? He’s probably still wandering around, asking strangers for help, desperately telling them, “You have that look!”

I’m being silly. He’s probably figured it out and I’m sure the librarian knows how to take care of business.

All in all, I’m glad the library was open and I’m looking forward to digging in.

Thanks for reading! -Connie

Reminder: Under a deadline to finish a play so my blog entries are shorter and less “thought out” than usual. Read at your own risk.